4 Hacks For Filling Out Forms With Mixed-Race Kids

Are you tired of filling out forms that ask you to pick just one of the racial and ethnic categories listed? As a parent of mixed race kids or a mixed race individual, it can be frustrating to constantly have to choose just one category or be forced to select "other" when you don't see a category that matches your mixed heritage. Instead of feeling defeated, here are a few simple hacks for filling out forms with mixed race kids.

Hack #1: Break the Rules

First of all, who said that you have to follow the rules?! If the form tells you to choose only one race or ethnicity, ignore the instructions and check all the boxes you want! A piece of paper doesn't get to limit you or your child's multiracial background.

For example, if your child is white and Asian American, check both boxes! Yes, even if the demographic form tells you to choose only one race or ethnicity, I am telling you to check both Asian and white.

Your child shouldn't have to choose between two pieces of their cultural heritage or racial identity. They aren't more of one racial group than the other or “half” white and “half” asian. Your biracial child is fully both.

Hack #2: Make Your Own Box

If you don't see a racial category that matches you or your child's multiracial background, choose "other" and write in your own racial categories.

I get that this isn't ideal. Having to create your own category often feels more othering than affirming. At the same time, race isn't as "black and white" as the people who collect data want to believe.

Creating a new category is a simple way to remind the data collection agencies that racial and ethnic identity is fluid and multifaceted.

We don't all fit into just one racial group. If enough of the multiracial population, which is the fastest growing population by the way, resist the “check just one box” rule, maybe the data collectors will finally realize that their tools need to change.

Hack #3: Think of It As Advocacy

I get that these forms are annoying and stressful, especially for mixed race individuals BUT change is arriving little by little.  I think that if we keep resisting strict racial categories and checking boxes in a way that honors all of who we are, the data collection agencies will have to catch up (eventually).

Here's some proof that change is happening (slowly, but slow progress still counts): theUS Census has been making changes since 1790 to try to find the best way to count and classify the population. In 2030, it looks like a COMBINED race and ethnicity question is already in the works. Plus, they are adding new Latinx options and a Middle Eastern North African category. 

That gives me hope that if people with multiracial backgrounds keep speaking up, the United States Government, and all the other organizations collecting data, will listen. 

So, the next time you are thinking about crumpling up a demographic form and throwing it across the room, resist. Claim all your kids racial and ethnic groups. Use that piece of paper to honor your kid's mixed ancestry.

Think of filling out that form as advocacy. This is how you demand change. Together we are making a difference.

Hack #4: Talk About it Ahead of Time

If your elementary school kids have standardized tests coming up, prepare them for the confusing and frustrating "pick a box" questions they will likely face. Tell them that they are allowed to break the rules and pick more than one box, or skip the question all together.

If you aren't sure how the school or teacher will react to your mixed race child's small act of resistance, talk with the teacher or administrator about it ahead of time. Explain the problem and find a solution before the day of the exam. This isn't something multiracial children should have to stress about the day of an important test.

As your mixed race children get older, they can start making their own choices about which racial and ethnic categories to choose. When they are young, they need you to support them and affirm that they can be more than one race or ethnicity.

Hack #5: Get Support

Shifting your mindset to turn the process of filling out demographic forms with mixed race kids into an empowering act of resistance helps ease the frustration but it doesn't erase the follow up questions and sometimes difficult discussions you may need to have with school administrators, doctor's office secretaries, and maybe even federal government officials.

Having to navigate this same conversation, for what feels like the trillionth time, can wear on even the most passionate advocate. That is why you don't want to take this journey alone.

If you want to be your child's biggest supporter and best advocate, you need to join a community of parents like you. The Free to Be Collective is an inclusive, empowering online community for parents of mixed race kids.

Inside the Mixed Life Academy, you'll find:

-A supportive community of other parents of mixed race kids.

-A library of short videos I recorded to help parents better understand the mixed race experience.

-Weekly live coaching where we talk about issues families with mixed race kids face and explore solutions that fit your unique situation.

Raising multiracial children can be daunting but you don't have to figure it all out alone!

Jennifer Noble is a licensed psychologist, lover of adolescents and coach for parents of mixed race children. She is the founder and CEO of Free to Be Collective, an organization serving marginalized people and nontraditional families. Dr. Jenn created an online educational community for parents of mixed race kids to help families raise confident, resilient children. Her passion for identity freedom and her advocacy for the mixed race community are fueled by her lived experience. In addition to coaching parents, Dr. Jenn owns a private practice in Los Angeles, is a keynote speaker on various topics related to adolescence and the mixed race experience, and teaches at the collegiate level.