The Power of Positive Affirmations for Mixed Race Kids
As a former mixed-race kid, now a mixed-race adult, I can tell you from experience that sometimes we just need a reminder that we are enough. As mixed race individuals, we face a lot of questioning and scrutiny about our identity. Over time, those negative messages can imprint themselves in our brains. Positive affirmations for mixed race kids help counteract the negativity from the world and strengthen your mixed race children from the inside out.
Understanding Positive Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat out loud to yourself to counteract negative thoughts and beliefs.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, our brains are capable of change.
When you say an affirmation out loud your brain is forced to confront any contradictory negative beliefs and focus on the new thought instead. The more uncomfortable the statement feels to say aloud, the more you need to say it. That discomfort signals that what you are saying goes against what you currently believe about yourself.
With enough repetition, your brain will start to accept these new statements as true. Once positive beliefs replace our negative thoughts, we are better able to change our behaviors.
The Impact of Positive Affirmations on Mixed Race Kids
Affirmations are a great practice for anyone but for mixed race children there are two additional benefits.
#1 Daily Affirmations Build Resilience
Unfortunately, racism and microaggressions will be a part of your mixed race kids' story.
Most of us live in a mono-racist society that thinks every person should fit into just one racial or ethnic category.
The problem is, being mixed race means that you can't fit into just one box. You are fully a part of multiple groups. Your mixed race children will receive messages from the media, friends, or even family members that will point out that confusing paradox.
If you want to boost your mixed race children's self esteem, you have to help them replace any negative thoughts they have about their identity with positive ones.
The practice of daily affirmations teaches kids to switch unhelpful messages they've learned from the world about their mixed race background to thoughts of self love and affirmation. Essentially, they are building immunity and resilience against unfair racial constructs with each positive phrase they repeat.
#2 Affirmations Create Space to Talk About What Being Mixed Race Means
Even at a young age, your biracial child already knows they are different. They want to talk with you about their mixed race background. The problem is, most children don't know how to bring it up.
Daily affirmations embed these conversations into your family life. When your child asks hard questions about the way people treat them or why their brown skin or hair texture doesn't match mom or dad's, you'll know exactly how to respond.
You will already have phrases at the ready that affirm your child's identity and counteract the messages they are getting from school or society.
Examples of Affirmations for your Mixed Race Child
Daily affirmations can be any phrase that counteracts a negative belief your child holds about themselves. You could have your child say:
"I love my skin color!"
"I am proud to be me!"
"I am a unique blend of beautiful cultures."
If none of these fit your mixed race kid’'s situation, you can download this set of 25 pre-made cards or even make up your own.
3 Steps to Create Your Own Daily Affirmations
Take a negative sentiment your mixed race kid has heard, like: "You aren't ________ enough."
Turn it around: "I am fully ________ and ________."
Have your child repeat the new phrase out loud regularly.
You could get all fancy and make your daily affirmations look nice or you could just write them on a:
Sticky note
Piece of paper
Mirror or window using dry erase markers
It's not really about how the phrase looks. It is about how you use it.
By hanging these positive phrases in places your mixed race children will see regularly throughout their daily life, you are reminding them that society doesn't get to define who they are. They already are 100% enough of all the pieces of their heritage.
How to Use Positive Affirmations For Mixed Race Kids
The more you can get your mixed race and biracial kids to say their daily affirmations aloud, the better. Try to make affirmations a part of your family's everyday life.
You hang a few affirmation cards in the bathroom so your kids can set themselves up for a great day by repeating them while they get ready.
You could hang a few more in their bedroom so they can say them before bed each night.
For older kids, you could even encourage them to set an affirmation as their phone wallpaper to remind themselves of their worth every time they unlock their phone.
Consistent repetition is the key. The more often we tell our brains the truth we want it to hold, the more quickly it will save that truth into the file of our thoughts instead of the negative one that has been hanging out there.
How Parents of Mixed Race Kids Can Help
Although daily affirmations for mixed race kids are most effective when your kids say them out loud, that doesn't mean you as parents can't use them too. When you hear your child bring up a negative thought, interaction, or idea, remind them of a positive phrase that counteracts that idea.
Make your home an affirming supportive place where your kids know their identity is valued. Often it is the small things we do, like printing daily affirmation cards, that have the biggest impact. Add affirmations to your family's regular routine and watch your mixed race kids light up with pride.
Jennifer Noble is a licensed psychologist, lover of adolescents and coach for parents of mixed race children. She is the founder and CEO of Free to Be Collective, an organization serving marginalized people and nontraditional families. Dr. Jenn created an online educational community for parents of mixed race kids to help families raise confident, resilient children. Her passion for identity freedom and her advocacy for the mixed race community are fueled by her lived experience. In addition to coaching parents, Dr. Jenn owns a private practice in Los Angeles, is a keynote speaker on various topics related to adolescence and the mixed race experience, and teaches at the collegiate level.